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CyberCletch Founder, Team Builder, Tech Lover, Social Media Communicator, Driven Explorer, Blogger, Compassionate Entrepreneur, Dormant Realtor, Mother, Balance Seeker. This is my personal blog. You can also find me at my other blogs: CyberCletch LLC - YOUR Marketing Management Team, Real Estate Tourist, TheStickyFloor, and CanadianaConnection.

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30 Days of Thanks – Day 6

November 7th, 2009 • Related • Filed Under

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“I spent my entire marriage seeing the best in him and he spent his entire marriage seeing the worst in me.”

“We were both wrong.”

There is nothing more heart wrenching than spending nearly two decades supporting someone, believing in that person and then coming to the realization that you were nothing more than a means to an end.

The investment disposable, time and sacrifices made no longer credited, all because of a personal request for the freedom to pursue suppressed dreams.

Woman in Bed by Ron Mueck. Photo by KratzyIt’s enough to shake your foundation to the core and question the realities of whether the love existed in the first place. You question how you could have blindly stayed the marriage course for so many years. To make matters worse, your personal history is being rewritten by lies that slide callously from the ego-plumped lips of the person who claimed to have once loved you.

It’s enough to make you crawl into bed and never want to get out again. But I do. I get out for my kids and I get out because I will not allow him to steal another day of my life. My future awaits. My dreams will be fulfilled.

Today, I am thankful for the strength to get out of bed.

If you’d like to participate in 30 Days of Thanks – head on over to www.30daysofthanks.com for the details. Take a moment to read what others are grateful for in their lives.

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  • jourdepaye

    Holy Shit, Pat.

    How can a person be so strong, as you are, so centered, so wonderfully successful at raising two fabulous children, managing a business, and being a twitter icon and example to so many women in so many situations………. but yet you are so affected by and so critical of another human being?

    Do you love Chris? Why are you fixated on your negative feelings about him? Move on, girl…..

  • Bonnie

    Holy Shit, Pat.

    How can a person be so strong, as you are, so centered, so wonderfully successful at raising two fabulous children, managing a business, and being a twitter icon and example to so many women in so many situations………. but yet you are so affected by and so critical of another human being?

    Do you love Chris? Why are you fixated on your negative feelings about him? Move on, girl…..

  • http://www.RealHomeSense.com cletch

    Without going into detail… it's difficult not to be affected by someone in this situation. It will be much easier when we no longer live in the same house. As far as my being critical. The fact that I wasn't critcal for so many years did not serve me well, my complete acceptance of another person's behavior (or lack thereof) essentially gave permission to ignore my needs. My personal failure has been to not stand up for what my life requirements are. We all have struggles, and I am far from perfect.

  • Debbie

    Your strength and smarts amaze me. This post brought so many strong emotions on to me. Thanks for being so candid.

  • Debbie

    Your strength and smarts amaze me. This post brought so many strong emotions on to me. Thanks for being so candid.

  • joiturner

    Wow, Pat!!! This was beautifully written, and I admire you for sharing so deeply. I am thankful for your strength, as well! It's beautiful that we are strengthening ourselves through our gratefulness, and can rally support from others, as well!

    Keep rolling out of bed! :-)

  • http://fromgratefultogreatness.blogspot.com/ Joi

    Wow, Pat!!! This was beautifully written, and I admire you for sharing so deeply. I am thankful for your strength, as well! It’s beautiful that we are strengthening ourselves through our gratefulness, and can rally support from others, as well!

    Keep rolling out of bed! :-)

  • http://www.RealHomeSense.com cletch

    Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment but mostly – thanks for being there to help with the work at this time – you and the rest of my team are the reason I am able to get through on a daily basis. xoxox

  • http://www.RealHomeSense.com cletch

    I wasn't planning to do this exercise and amazingly, it has been a blessing. I look forward to it every day and for the first time in a long while I've begun to take time for myself because it's made me slow down and think. Thank you for your kind comments – you made my day!

  • http://www.RealHomeSense.com cletch

    Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment but mostly – thanks for being there to help with the work at this time – you and the rest of my team are the reason I am able to get through on a daily basis. xoxox

  • http://www.RealHomeSense.com cletch

    I wasn't planning to do this exercise and amazingly, it has been a blessing. I look forward to it every day and for the first time in a long while I've begun to take time for myself because it's made me slow down and think. Thank you for your kind comments – you made my day!

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    [...] to provide me with what I needed to be a happy, whole person, I spent a lot of time thinking (much of it in bed) trying to determine what I could have / should have done [...]